It’s important that men have a place where they can take off their social masks and revel in masculine energy. For many men, the bureaucracy of corporate culture can leave them feeling powerless and emasculated. Having a “man cave” at home, a place men can decorate as they please and do what they want in can give them a much-needed sense of control, empowerment, and of course relaxation.
This delightful article on the Decline of Male Space by The Art of Manliness is currently doing the rounds on Twitter.
Now call me easy to rile, but I had just un-followed someone who kept boasting about having sex, so you can tell I was not in the mood when I read it.
However it was such a lengthy and loss-filled treatise that after growling for a bit (women in the workplace ! women in bars ! ) I started to wonder if it could be true ?
Have women taken every area of male life and converted it into domestic space ? Are there table-runners where table-football once stood ? Have women started putting scented candles and zen pebbles into fire-pits? Are we really squeezing men out of bars with our sofas and Pinot Grigio ? (Actually yes and I hate Pinot Grigio, mine’s a pint, so you can have that one.) And what about the claim that women are forcing men out of the shed/ garage and replacing them with Ikea shelving units ?
I don’t have a garage and our shed is full of manly lawn-mowers and the like, so I can’t really comment, but I do have a friend who has just cleared out her garage, not to fill it with doilies but to house her three sons’ dartboard and punch-bag.
It strikes me that we could all do with a bit more space, ‘ A Room of One’s Own’ as Virginia Woolf put it. But the enemy is not the other sex, no, it’s the children.
The pram in the hall, you may remember, (Sylvia Plath) spells the end of creativity and promise.
Not for the first time the other day I was told that a family’s lovely attic conversion was not to be the adult retreat they had planned but the children were going to have it instead.
And what about my friend with the garage ? It’s now a Junior Man Cave.
Before you can say, ‘but women have the kitchen’, my kitchen is not a lady-cave, it is a place where I am compelled to make meals for those who depend on me to keep them alive. Even kitchens are ‘family space’ since Sarah Beeny urged us all to knock down our interior walls with a sledge-hammer.
So a room of one’s own ? That would be nice or what about a Tiny house ?